i jhust puked up my retainher.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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