did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
