you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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