in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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