God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
