if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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