No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.