Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN