I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.