I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.