carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.