areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
