I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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