Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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