ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
