I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
