There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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