ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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