I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
