wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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