I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
