Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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