i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
