I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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