Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
