Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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