make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My cat gives me a boner
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
