I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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