Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
