I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
