I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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