oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize