It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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