i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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