i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
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If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED