this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.