Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
