I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
pop tarts are not kleenex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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