Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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