I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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