Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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