how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize