I'm going to jail i love you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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