And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
