I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
