Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
