Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
