The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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