Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
