Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So apparently I’m into choking now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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