SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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