you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The beer is more important than you right now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We are two peas in an std pod
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
