She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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