I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
