just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
