dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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