Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
