physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
