i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he puts the penis in happiness.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Green mimosas i think yes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
