I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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