We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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