babies were throwing up all over the place
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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