I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
