i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
