Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
