did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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