it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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