So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
