Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
