Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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