Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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