he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
